Tuesday, October 30, 2012

My husband is

Bet you thought I was going to say Asian, huh?  Since that's how I normally introduce him or explain his awkward behavior, I don't blame you.  But this time, it actually finishes with "indecisive."
This may or may not come as a surprise, but I'm a planner.  I like to know what's going to happen, especially if it's a major undertaking or large issue to resolve.  I'm pretty blasé about where we're going to eat for dinner, but where we'll retire?  What kind of car to buy?  I think things out.  That's where hubby and I are different.
We talk all the time about our future; where we want to end up, how many kids we want to have [it's one.  don't let him tell you otherwise], how we'd spend the lottery if we won.  I feel as though I'm pretty consistent in my answers, while my darling spouse seems to change his mind every other day.  Today it's a Toyota Tacoma, tomorrow a Prius, the next a Jeep Grand Cherokee.  Sometimes he wants to try to go officer, sometimes he just wants to be done with the military.  Every once in a while, he talks about joining a circus or becoming a professional baseball player.  Huh?
One thing we've come to a conclusion on is building our own home.  The idea of having a layout of my choosing, adding those particularly brilliant little additions one finds on Pinterest, choosing materials that make me feel at home...it's appealing to both of us.  And while some may build to have the large, grand house of their dreams, I actually can't wait to watch our tiny little home come together.  In never ending anticipation, I've been hunting down ideas of what I absolutely must include in our future two bedroom, one bathroom, large acred casa.

I'm all about open floor plans.  While this particular picture shows a home incredibly larger than I would ever want, the open space of no walls between kitchen, dining room, and living room makes me drool.  And those vaulted ceilings?  Yes, please.  I may even have to have a loft instead of a bedroom...
Source: bhg.com via English on Pinterest

Although we want a smaller house, I still want to be able to move around in our kitchen.  Doesn't have to be gigantic, just room for company, for future grand kids, for dogs, for whomever.  Most of all, a slender island is the perfect addition no matter how small it is.
Source: bhg.com via English on Pinterest

We have yet to decide on where exactly we want to retire, but South Carolina is [at the moment] number one.  In spite of the location, a fireplace is a must in our future home.  Look at the rock detailing!  And the built in bookcases?  Love love love.  A cozy environment to read a book and sit back and relax.

My favorite part of planning a home is choosing the flooring, color schemes, molding, fixtures, etc.  This floor is one of my favorites, and best part?  Cork flooring.  I'm pretty much drooling right now.

Our bedroom is my least favorite room in the entire house.  It's too big!  We don't need much in there, just a bed for us, a bed for the dogs, and a side table for alarm clocks.  That's it.  I don't care about millions of pillows or cute settees, nor do I care about having a house inside my bedroom.  This is pretty much perfect; a bed, gorgeous colors, pretty lighting...perfect for sleeping.
Source: bhg.com via English on Pinterest

Since my husband insists on having a two story home [groan], this idea may not come into play.  But I would love to have a mudroom/laundry room!  Just an area for shoes, coats, and laundry to be stored.  Nothing huge or fancy, just a converted closet or tiny space right off the garage.  If he keeps insisting on a two story house, laundry room goes upstairs in our walk in closet.  Yup, you heard me.  I may not need a large house, but a walk in closet is a must, and so is having the washer/dryer upstairs with us.

Finally, having a porch is an absolute necessity.  I'm so looking forward to the day where I can lazy in a comfortable chair with a cup of coffee, pups dozing at my feet, neighbors waving hello in the sunrise.  Has to happen.

Obviously, this point in time is quite a ways away, but it can't hurt to daydream, right?  I have so many ideas of how to make the most use of small spaces, how to be comfortable without needing oversized rooms, and how I'm going to fit extended family in those two bedrooms.  May have to have a treehouse as well. :)  What do you dream about?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Weekend in Pictures

Do you like to capture your weekend in photos as well?  Feel free to link up and show them off!  Weekend in Pictures link-up every Monday :)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Let's Talk [v1.6]

Katie over at State of Change recently blogged about why she doesn't give advice on parenting or marriage.  In a world where everyone seems to feel obligated to spout off their own opinion on how/why/when you should do something, it was a very refreshing take on the issue.  So, why don't we talk about it?

Part One: Ask and You Shall Receive
Is this a quote from the Bible?  Possibly.  I don't know.  I think it sounds more like a song title.
When you begin a new chapter in your life, it can be extremely overwhelming.  Graduating high school and becoming an adult, getting married, having children, moving, being a friend, etc.  They're all scenarios that vary from person to person, and if it's something that you've never dealt with before, you may need help navigating the waters.  So what do you do?  You probably head to your mom, dad, b.f.f., random person on the street wearing "I'm omniscient" on their shirt and ask them what you should do.  How do I live on my own?  How do I know he's the one?  What should I do when my three year old decides that clothes aren't their style?  Lo and behold, everyone is clamoring to have their two cents thrown in the mix.

It seems as though everyone has the best remedy for our problems.  Oh, your kid did that?  Well, in my house we do this and this.  Oh, your husband said that?  In my house, husbands don't talk.  Not to say that there isn't good advice out there; sometime asking for other opinions on a situation can lead to a great conclusion, can maintain your sanity, or could enable you to think of an option that hadn't been apparent before.  But, if you're making the move to take advice from others, be prepared to have a dozen voices talking to you at once, tons of contradicting opinions, and to face the consequences if that advice turns out not to work so well.

Part Two: Your Way Isn't My Way
In our house, dogs are treated like people, the house is never clean, and I'd save my books over my photo album.  Okay, maybe my camera would be first, but books a very close second.  In our house, my husband and I have equal say, and while our marriage isn't perfect, we work through our problems ourselves.  I honestly don't want to hear what you think about our latest argument because how you handle the situation is bound to be different than how we handle it.  When we have children, I will gladly take recommendations on baby items, along with doing my own research, but how we raise them is up to us.  I'm happy that your child is allowed to have ice cream every night because otherwise they scream; I probably wouldn't take the same route.  It's all a matter of opinion.

I don't offer advice on this blog because I know for a fact that I'm not qualified to give it.  I make mistakes.  I'm not perfect.  I say the wrong thing constantly [which is why my husband currently thinks I love the dogs more than him; horrible wording on my part] and don't really know what I'm doing at any point in the day.  Why would you want to hear advice from someone like me?  I wish I weren't so liberal with my thoughts in the real world, but I'm learning to tame my tongue and keep my opinions to myself when it comes to relationships, kids, and doing the dishes.
What do you think?  Is advice freely welcome in your life?  Do you give advice to others, and if so, when is it appropriate to do so?

Friday, October 26, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear Friday.  You are the start of a fun filled and magical weekend.  Dear husband.  I feel so horrible for you!  These past couple weeks have been extremely rough, with chaotic work schedules, not enough sleep during the day, phone calls to take you back to base right as you walk in our door.  Hopefully you'll have an easier time until the holidays start.  Dear Halloween.  You're less than a week away.  I'm not a huge halloween person, and I refuse to celebrate Thanksgiving at all, so as soon as the ghosts go back to bed, I'm putting up Christmas decor.  Final word on that.  Dear dogs.  We have a visitor coming today who will be staying for a week or two.  She's a tiny thing, and although I hear she likes to play with big dogs, I'm terrified you'll step on her and squish her.  Please behave?  Dear school.  Noooooooooooo!  Dear job.  Just call me already.  I'm waiting.  I'm willing.  I'm in the mood to punch kids er, mold young minds.  Dear husband.  I love you.  Dear sudden overload of pregnant bloggers and friends on Facebook.  Seriously?  Dear self.  You swore off children's photography, yet here you are with two new sessions booked.  Why can't you just say no?  Dear Germany.  I have quickly learned that fall in this area means, yes, gorgeous colors floating through the air and dotting the country side.  But it also means a helluva lot of fog every morning that lingers until around 10 or so, leaving me in a dream state.  I kinda like it.  But I'm kinda scared to drive in it, too, so let's just put that away for now, ay?


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Fall Favorites Swap

Back in September, I signed up for a Fall Favorites Swap.  The gist of the plan was to pick out some of my favorite fall items [food, clothes, scents, etc.] and send them to whomever I was partnered up with.  Lo and behold...I was able to send my favs to one of my fav people!  J of An Unstyled Life.  She'll show you what all I sent, so I will instead show off everything I got in return.
*Note: J cheated.  I'm seriously about to put together another box of stuff because she sent me soooo much!*
I kinda couldn't wait to open it, so I ripped into it in the car...

 Love the smell of this candle!  We have it burning almost 24/7
 Yes, the pumpkin came in the box!
Isn't this mug the absolute best?  So cute and festive, and I love it.
 A gorgeous patterned scarf to add to my collection.
I love love love the box!  And even better was the extremely sweet and probably made me cry card that came with it.  I'm not sharing that though.
I'm a little early, but as soon as the link goes up, I'll be adding my post to it to share with others.  Click HERE to visit and see what others received in the mail!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Weekend in Pictures

Eh, my big surprise has been delayed for a couple weeks.  But it will happen, I promise!!!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday's Letters

Dear Friday.  Here it goes.  Dear Husband.  Even though we see each other every day, I feel like I haven't really hung out with you in a super long time.  I'm excited for our weekend to come around so we can have some us time.  Dear base offices.  I. hate. you.  No one ever answers their phone, and when I decide to show up in person, you shoo me away for "training."  Bull.  I heard you laughing.  No one laughs when they're being trained because it sucks.  Dear new car.  You're not new new, but you're new to me, and I'm pretty happy with you.  I kind of feel like I'm in one of those toy battery cars, and am really nervous of large vehicles running over me, but you are fun and great on gas and that's all that matters.  Now time to show Timmy how to drive your manualness.  Dear new job.  Please just let me start working already.  I promise that I'm not some crazy person that's going to hack up small children and stow them in my tiny car.  They wouldn't even fit!  Dear Ninja & Sass.  For how much you two have been left at home on your own this week, you've only gotten into the pumpkins on the table.  I'm so proud of you!  Dear weekend.  Two photo shoots, lots of editing, cleaning, groceries, laundry, etc. etc. etc.  Yay.....  Dear readers.  My awesome ad swap partners and I have come up with something truly amazing to be hosted here on Be Freckled.  Keep an eye out on Monday to see what the surprise is!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Truth [v1.3]

As much as I really do enjoy creating a fun, creative, happy environment for you all to read and for me to write, having this outlet to also let you all know the more serious issues in my life is much appreciated.  <-Therefore, if you're not up for reading about our continued fertility problems, check back again tomorrow!  I'll have cheered up by then.

As you all know, I first had a huge unveiling of the fact that we've been trying for [now] over two years to conceive and expand our family.  Result: diagnosed with possibly endometriosis.  Next, I shared that even though we do want children eventually, we're perfectly fine ignoring the expectations of others and just being us four for now.  But that we also would like to see if there's something wrong so that we know what we're facing in the future.

The rest of this actually doesn't have much to do with conception or issues with it.  It mostly has to do with the fact that I'm a gigantic baby and can't handle going to the doctor.

**Side note:  I recently had a conversation with my mom about how tired I am of hospitals, and how I don't want to have anymore surgeries.  "Ha!  What surgeries have you had?!  You had ear surgeries when you were five."  Compelled to come back with a legit reason why I should not want anymore surgeries, or want to deal with anymore doctors, I've comprised a list of medical issues I've faced over my lifetime:
-pneumonia, multiple times, as a child
-ear surgery on both ears
-concussion [ahem, fell of a slide in 2nd grade]
-torn meniscus in knee
-almost? fractured something in baseball.  Don't try to jump over a line drive.  Won't work.
-Teeth removed
-Braces <-can this count?
-moles removed
-fractured hip immediately after basic training
-wisdom teeth removed
-eye surgery

Take that, madre.**

In an attempt to go through with our plans, I had my ob-gyn put in a referral for a couple different tests. One was a [TMI] trans-vaginal ultrasound, which is no big deal.  Uncomfortable, but not painful.  The other was an HSG.  Oh. My. God.

An HSG [TMI] is a procedure in which they insert a catheter with a balloon at the end into your uterus.  They then inflate the balloon, causing your uterus to spread out, or something.  The whole point is that they shoot dye through the catheter to ensure tubes are still open.  Something.  I don't know.  I wasn't paying any attention at all.  Instead, I was focused on that little balloon [think the tip of a pen] in my uterus.  Since the uterus is a muscle, forcing it into an unnatural position encourages it to contract, causing menstrual like cramping in your abdomen.  Number of women who don't feel anything?  Very few.  Number of women who describe it as bad period cramps?  Majority.  Number of women who are in so much pain, they have to stop the procedure?  Hardly any.  Hardly any =  me.

I cried.  A lot.  Poor doctor just stood there patting my shoulder, trying to make me feel better.  I was mortified.  But, since there aren't any other tests to get the results, I either had to suck it up and do it again, come back another day and do it again, or just not get those results.  I sucked it up.  It happened again, and I still cried, but managed to make it through.

I wobble my way out to the hubby, and beg him to take me home.  Hours later [or so it felt] we reached the vehicle...I collapsed inside...and started crying hysterically all over again.  The pain.  The frustration.  The fact that no woman in the entire world should have to deal with something like this.  The fact that I can't complete a very natural biological chain of events.  It all just hit me, bewildering my husband, and not helping my poor uterus at all.

I'm fine now, but I'll never have an HSG done again.  It was a horribly horrible day, a break down that I haven't had the likes of in quite some time.  I like to think I needed it, but in reality, it was that ugly "you're not good enough to be a mom" monster raising up inside of me.
For those of you who may have to have one done in the future - ignore all of the above.  I'm the minority here, the one who almost passed out getting her nose pierced, the one whose skin is constantly hurting from a multitude of bruises and scrapes.  It won't happen to you.

Would anyone like to share their bad day with me?  To make me feel less like such a grump and negative person?