Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Laters, Baby.

The title drew you in.  You know exactly what it's from, and you're hoping this is another post that will glorify and memorialize the series that you've been gushing about for weeks.  I hate to burst your bubble, but this is nothing like that.

If you can't tell, I can't stand these books.  But I'm not talking about that, either.  I am trying [with difficulty] to put my absolute distaste and disgust for these novels aside to talk about something completely different, yet related.  The readers' reaction.

Fifty Shades of Grey and its sister novels were released to the public with little hype, but promoted and cherished once reviewed on television.  A sudden rush to gain access to the pages of the series now has Fifty Shades obsessed fans leading forays into new merchandise, new website, book club topics, and has even started to take over more popular sites such as Facebook, Pinterest, and others.  I get it.  This is a new craze, much like The Hunger Games, where every new piece of jewelry, poster, picture, shirt, and more is wanted and coveted by the fan club of readers.  Fifty is racy, sexy, ..... racy, sexy, ...... and terribly horribly written pieces of shit.

Sorry.  I lapsed.

While such tidal waves of fans are to be expected when anything new and shiny is released [be it in the book world or any other world], I just don't understand some reactions to the novels.  Recently, I read a comment on Facebook.

"I CAN'T PUT IT DOWNNNN.  I want a man like grey, minus the you know what.  Lmao the lovin seems so much better in the books then in real life LMAO."

Obviously the commentator is kept anonymous, not only because I am getting ready to tear her to shreds, but also because I don't know her.  It was a random comment caught on a friend's status.  My first instinct is to take this girl by the neck and shake her repeatedly until my point is understood.  How in the world can you compare a fictional, made up love story with real life?  How can one even seem a substitute for reality?  

Of course the "lovin" in the books seems better.  You obviously don't know true love, dearie.  Because if you did, you would realize that love isn't made up of chains and whips and domination.  It is a mutual feeling between two people, one of respect and adoration.  Or maybe you're drawn to it because of the passion; well, honey, passion doesn't last forever for anyone, and that can be said for Grey and his sex pet.  And please don't take this to mean that marriage/true love is dried up boring sit on the couch life; it's just evolved into something else, something more adequate, something much more meaningful than what you're reading in the books.

More women than we realize are effected by these stereotypes in romance novels, so much so that it causes havoc in their daily lives. 

" There are women, who unconsciously build expectations of the kind of love they’re looking for and end up unhappy in their real relationships because of the pressure they put on themselves and their partners to have that perfect romance. " -Anuradha Anupkumar

While there are plenty of women who read novels and can separate fact from fiction, and while it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth when thinking that even smart women have been caught up in this web of erotica, I feel even worse for those who are suddenly desperate to find the man that only exists in books.

There is something wrong with the entire picture.  I do get women's need to feel loved, to take that bad boy and turn him into something gentle, and I understand the appeal of romance novels since they give you a taste of this action.  But why torture yourself?  Do you not realize that life is not a book?  There are no messed up, BDSM-loving, rich, handsome, intelligent, abuse, scarred, generally and completely fucked up boys out there to whisk you off your feet and recreate Fifty Shades for you.  And there is no man in his right mind that will take what you've read in a book and interpret it in the bedroom.  Be completely honest, now; are you even into all the hardcore shit you just read, or are you following a trend?  Don't lie.  Even worse is the possibility that young women who have never known true love, who are not married, are suddenly influenced by this macabre example of "love" [read: obsession] and will now be unable to correctly search for the man that is right for them, and will instead be looking for the Christian Grey of reality that will ruin their lives.

A bit overboard?  Sorry.  Got carried away.

Basic point of this story: my complete and utter lack of understanding when smart, capable women start complaining that real life should be more like a book.  It hurts my heart that their significant others are no longer adequate enough for their love just because some Twilight fan decided to write about "kinky fuckery."  

I'm done ranting.  Thoughts?  Opinions?  Eye opening revelations for me to help me see the light?  


  1. I had no idea what Fifty Shades of Grey was. So I looked it up.


  2. Nodding my head through this whole post. Absolutely, girl. You hit the nail on the head!

  3. Wow. All I can say is wow. I think it's a little harsh to make broad generalizations like that though. I'm a married and intelligent woman. I loved the 50 shades books. I really did. And I read a lot of romance novels because I like them. Do I expect my husband to act like the men in the stories? No. Would I want him to? Maybe for 5 minutes. Then it would be annoying and I wouldn't want it anymore.

    When I was reading this post, I thought in the back of my mind if you would also lump people who watch TV in with this. You know, because kids watch videos or play video games and then go out and steal cars and kill people. Because they can't tell fiction from reality....

    People get wrapped up in stories. I know I do. It's unfortunate that people might 'fall in love' with a character in a story and then try and find a person matching those qualities in life. It's misguided, sure. But people make choices for their spouses/lovers/whatever based on lots of different reasons. Don't judge.

    Sorry to rant.

  4. I must be very behind the times as I have never heard of Fifty Shades of Grey.

    Off to look it up now out of a macabre curiosity.


  5. I downloaded it on to my iPad but have yet to make it past pg. 7

    I doubt I ever will.

  6. I downloaded the sample to my Kindle, wasn't sucked in, didn't buy it. But I've read the Sleeping Beauty series, same idea, but MUCH better writing. Yeah, the fantasy of dominance is fun, in your head. I doubt it would be as "fun" in real life. Plus, it takes 2 to tango... if I am not willing to turn into a wanton sex kitten, I shouldn't expect my man to turn into Mr. Grey. We aren't those people. We're us.


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