Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Out of Sorts

About three weeks ago, I received some not so fantastic news.  Tim had been asked to go out on another deployment.  If you don't remember, we went through the exact same thing almost a year ago right after we moved here to Germany.  He's been home for six months.  He left for another six months.  I had three weeks to prepare.  I am a freaking disastrous wreck.
I dropped him off at the terminal this morning, and experienced something I hadn't felt on any of our other deployments together.  Complete fear.  For some reason, this one is hitting me so much harder than the other ones, and I'm already losing my mind.  I really contemplated unpacking all of his bags, throwing his stuff away, and refusing to take him to the airport so he couldn't leave.







yes, i'm being slightly over dramatic in this picture.  and yes, i do take pictures of myself as i cry...it's part of life.
I'm usually not so much of a crybaby, nor am I looking for pity.  But these hard days are a part of life, and since I document everything on camera to share with the world, it only seems fitting that you get to see the more personal side of our everyday.
I'm a lucky girl in other aspects.  At least this time I have more friends, a job, and plans to fill my time for the next six months.  You won't see me moping around forever [as a rule, I only get one pity day per deployment].  Instead, look forward to hearing about a trip to Amsterdam, a new tattoo, my days as a para educator, and maybe even a quick jaunt home to Minnesota to catch up with family.  These six months won't be the easiest without my best friend to experience life with me, but I'll be damned if I don't come away with some funny stories at least!  Hope you all are having a wonderful week, and can't wait to catch up with you guys for Friday's Letters :)

10 comments:

  1. Those last pictures are beautiful. I love that you're documenting even the small moments of the experience.

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  2. That's a lot to look forward too. It doesn't entirely take away the emptiness though - but it will give you guys heaps to talk about. I'm sorry you're on your own again. I'm always here for a Skype chat and interweb coffee. xx

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  3. Aw... Hugs girl! I will be thinking about you.

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  4. pooor english!!! I'm really sorry. I guess I can't say I know how you feel because my husband and I were never that close (what a terrible thing to admit) but I'm glad you at least have someone in your life whom you care so much about. You will totally be so busy this deployment that it will go ten times faster than others, I feel sure of that.

    And ahem youcancomedancearoundamaypolewithme

    Plus a visit to home is allways nice!!! Hugs from Sweden!

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  5. I feel for you so much, friend. The first day is always the worst, isn't it? I look forward to hearing about your adventures during these six months, but I know that you will have that feeling that something is just missing. Hugs to you!

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  6. Wow. Tough, English. Thoughts with you!

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  7. Thinking of you, and hoping this deployment goes quickly for you. My husband just returned from one last year, and I shudder to think of his next one.

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  8. so sucky. :( I'm sorry you have to go through that so soon AGAIN!

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  9. Big hugs girl, thinking of you through this deployment!

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