Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Ninja Handbook

My Husband and I are obsessed with Ninjas.  We named our dog Ninja (which is actually in part due to the fact that he can get out of anything...quite annoying), Timmy has a future Ninja tattoo planned, and we both love to read The Ninja Handbook by The International Order of Ninjas.

We make it a point to head to bed early, snuggle up with the dogs, and Timmy reads to us.  May sound overly cheesy, but this book is hilarious.  Here is the disclaimer.

"The writers and publishers of The Ninja Handbook are dead serious about the fact that this book will kill you.  Just put it down and walk away.
Oh, you don't scare so easy, huh?  Quick flip to a random page.  Are you back?  Do you still have control of your bowels?
Honestly, no one is going to think any worse of you than they already do.  Walk away.
Look, we get it.  Somebody's with you and you don't want to lose face by running screaming and crying from a book, but this is your life we're talking about.  You can't handle a book like this.  Seriously.  This is your last warning.  Walk away.
What part of "last warning" didn't you understand?  Do we have to send you a list of names and burial site?  'Cause, brother, we got one and it is Nile-long.  We're not trying to scare you, friend.  It ain't about fear, it's about survival. By continuing to read this, you're tearing off your logic suit and jumping into Lake Stupid.  Now, we want you to put down this book, and scurry your Beta-buying, trailer-rebuilding, crazy-ex-drunk-dialing, Yahoo-e-mail-using, "I can do that" saying, F.D.A.-believing, USA Today-reading butt outta here.
Still here?  Nice.  Let's do this!"

Already off to a fantastic start and the book hasn't even begun.  We lay in bed cracking up at some of the lessons and weapons, and have maybe tried practicing a few of the moves around the house.  We're not very good yet.

If you love Ninjas as much as we do and have ever considered becoming one, I suggest this read.  Of course, it's at your own risk.

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